A man and his pig walk into a bar. The pig has three good legs, and one wooden leg. “Now there’s a story,” says the barman. “I’ll give you a free beer if you tell me about the pig.” “Pig’ll ‘ave a beer too,” says the farmer. The barman agrees, […]
A man married two women, Kate for her money, an Edith for her body. He regularly spent 2 weeks of each month at each wife’s home and of course neither Kate nor Edith was aware of the other wife. One day, he slipped up and Kate found phone messages to […]
A small boy asks his Dad what are politics?”Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care […]
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for […]
A man is in a hardware store causing a ruckusHe is holding a large bag of salt designed to melt snow. The employees are all crowding around him, begging him to stop. The man walks over to the hardware section and rips open the bag. He dumps the salt all […]
A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it? He said he’d offer to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. […]
The Story of the Three MolesPushing the limits of this sub… Once upon a time, there were three moles: a mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. One bright sunny morning, the mama mole poked her nose out of their hole, took a deep breath, and said, “ah, […]
A man from West Virginia finds out his daughter is dating a man from Virginia. So the guy questions his daughter about the guy, finding out his name is Clarence. But he doesn’t like the sound of this guy. Well one day the daughter comes home crying and runs to […]
A pastor embezzles money from the church, and uses it to buy a new car. Smitten with his purchase, he takes it to a custom paint shop. “I want you to paint it a heavenly sky blue. Airbrush some white in there, so it looks like clouds.” Hours later, he […]
An elderly guy goes to the doctor about his flatulenceHe tells the doctor that he had these silent but horrible smelling farts. He says that at church he can feel one coming on but when he lets it squeeze out they are really smelly but silent, and it’s very embarrassing. […]
The rabbit and the carrot were best friends. One day they were walking along when a car lost control, jumped the curb, and ran over the carrot. The rabbit yelled for help, people gathered, finally an ambulance came and took the carrot to the hospital. The rabbit rode in the […]
A woman was visiting her elderly mother in a mental hospital when a guy entered the ward, waving his arms about and making beeping noises. “Excuse me,” said the woman. “What are you doing?” “I’m driving my car,” he replied cheerily. “Beep, beep!” “But you’re in a mental hospital,” she […]
A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.” The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call […]
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