A man and his wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem…The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so […]
A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, “Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too.” Marv smiles and says, “Well, we like to eat out […]
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says “If my proof falls then I rome through the halls.” Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back […]
A pregnant woman is about to give birth.The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through.Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I […]
A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, “I have no idea where they came from I don’t do the laundry!” So, the wife goes […]
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, “Nurses are known to be hot to trot.” The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to […]
A husband and wife are moving out of their house and are starting to box everything up. The husband finds a box under the bed, pulls it out, and looks inside, where he finds two eggs and about $8,000. He approaches the wife and asks, “What are the eggs for?” […]
Three newlywed couples were having breakfast together at the honeymoon hotel’s restaurant. When the food finally arrived, the first husband, eager to display his love for his bride said, “Pass the honey, honey.” Not to be outdone, the second husband said “Pass the sugar, sugar.” The third wife looked at […]
One day three couples in a minivan are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from Iowa. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast. Their waitress serves them their food, […]
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days […]
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes into pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can’t help himself and asks Bubba what his secret […]
A couple got married and following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. “I’ll be home when I want if I want, and at what time I want,” he said. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table […]
An elderly couple visit there local chemist. The husband goes up to the cashier. “can i have some condoms miss” “Where going on a naughty weekend” Cashier replies “but you folk must be nearly 70 there is no chance of your wife getting pregnant” “I know” says the old man […]
