A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like […]
My neighbor is a 90 year old with alzheimer’s, I see him every morning and he asks me If I’ve seen his wife. Everyday I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question. […]
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law, unfortunately killing her instantly. At the funeral service, the farmer stood near the casket […]
A fellow went to the doctor for a physical examination… … The doctor found him fit as a fiddle, with no sign of any ailments… but when the man left the office, he dropped dead right outside the door. The nurse hurried in and told the doctor, “That man you […]
A woman called up St Johns hospital and asked “I want to know if the patient Sarah James in Room No 1438 is getting better” The nurse replied, “She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving […]
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce? Farmer: which one, black one or white one? Interviewer: Black one Farmer: 2 litres per day. Interviewer: And the white one? Farmer: 2 litres per day. Interviewer : Where do they sleep? Farmer: The Black one or the. White one? […]
Two mischievous boys, aged 8 and 10, are known for causing all sorts of trouble in their town. Their mother, hoping to discipline them, asks a preacher to speak to them. The preacher agrees, but he asks to see the boys individually.The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, […]
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, […]
There was once a convention for blondes intended to make them feel more confident. At the first get together as a group, the host asked for a volunteer from the audience. when the blonde came up he announced to the audience that he was going to ask a few simple, […]
A father and his ten year old son were in the grocery store… and the son was throwing a penny up and catching it. After several successful attempts, he threw it up, lost it in a light and it went into his mouth. He started choking which caused the father […]
The lawyesrs son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with hounours and then went home to join his father’s firm. At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father office, and said, “Father, father, in one […]
A man goes hunting and gets lost in the woods. Remembering the universal distress signal of fireing 3 shots, he fires 3 shots into the air and waits. After an hour he fires 3 more shots. Another hour goes by and still no one comes to help. Preparing for the […]
A Scottish couple took in a young woman as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bathtub inside, although if she wanted to, she could use the outside tub. “Monday’s the best night, when my […]
