A young officer is working late at the Pentagon one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 P.M. he sees the General standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. “Do you know how to work this thing?” the […]
Jimmy farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, “Jimmy, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?” “I farted in class and the teacher threw […]
My wife came in the bathroom as I was getting dressed after my morning shower. I put my underwear on and pulled them up. Then I put my pants on and pulled them up and told her I had to park the old guy in the right spot. Now my […]
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night.”The first guy replies, “I’ll help you […]
A young lady is working at an old people’s home when she walks into an old gentleman’s room. He’s holding a set of photographs and looks upset. “What’s the matter?” She asks “I’ve got no-one to pass these onto to when I go”. Says the old man, looking at his […]
There was this blonde who needed money badly. She then decides to kidnap a little boy. She finds a boy then she brings him to the playground, she explains to him that she has kidnapped him for money, then she writes a ransom note saying that she has kidnapped their […]
A drunk on his way home from a bar one night realizes that he has dropped his keys. He gets down on his hands and knees and starts groping around beneath a lamppost. A policeman asks what he’s doing. “I lost my keys in the park,” says the drunk. “Then […]
It was Valentine’s day and Jim and Danielles first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start.The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema’s concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence […]
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. “What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package […]
