Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!” “Buy why, Mom? I don’t want to go.” “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.” “Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, […]
The kids filed back into class Monday morning
The kids filed back into class Monday morning.They were very excited.Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.Little Suzie led off:“I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly:“My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I […]
A man is visiting a foreign country but
A man is visiting a foreign country but does not speak the language that they speak there. He decides to go to a church service, but the priest is speaking the native language, so the American man just does whatever the man in front of him does. When the man […]
A woman gives birth to a baby
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, “I have to tell you something about your baby.” The woman sits up in bed and says, “What’s wrong with my baby doctor? What’s wrong?” The doctor says, “Well, now, nothing’s wrong, exactly, but […]
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender notices the guy’s head is the size of a cue ball. “I got to ask, sir,” says the bartender. “What happened?” The old guy sighs and tells him, “My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. […]
In honor of one of my late uncle’s best jokes
A Czechoslovakian goes to the zoo and heads to the lion exhibit. He wants a closer look at the lions and before anyone could stop him, he was is their cage. He’s soon attacked and eaten by one of the lions. A witness to this tragic event says to the […]
A little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting
On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, “Mommy, what does bastard mean?” She answers, “Um, it means boy.” Then he asks, “Daddy, what does bitch […]