Three prisoners are locked in a cell. One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’ The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’ The third man pulls out a packet of […]
A blonde was headed to Detroit
A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat.She refused. The flight attendent was […]
A woman died and arrived at the Gates
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who […]
A man comes home after his regular Saturday
A man comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn’t include Joseph in the games anymore. The husband asks, “Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing […]
There was once a blonde woman
There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit. She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there. An attendant saw her and said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. […]
Old stingy lawyer was dying
An old, stingy lawyer was dying and was determined to prove wrong the old saying; “You can’t take it with you.” He told his wife to go down to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. His plan: Put the bags directly over his bed and when […]
After five years of toil at a Wall
After five years of toil at a Wall Street law firm, an associate was burning the midnight oil at his office. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and a tower of smoke burst from the floor. Satan stepped out of the smoke, and addressed the lawyer. “I understand you’d […]
A man and his ever nagging wife
A man and his ever nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. The woman kept complaining about every little detail and making the trip unbearable. But a few days before their vacation ended, a tragic accident ended the woman’s life.The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her buried here […]
John was staring sadly
John was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily. “What’s up John, ” asked the landlord, “It’s not like you to be so down in the mouth” “It’s my four-year-old son” the man replied. “Don’t tell me, he’s in trouble for fighting in school? – my lad’s just the […]
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting byhis bed. “Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently […]
A very successful businessman had a meeting
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is […]
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed
A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin on its face, the egg looking thoroughly ticked off. The egg looks at the chicken and says,“Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!”
A little girl asks her Mom
A little girl asks her Mom, “May I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Mom says, “No honey, the dog is in heat.” “What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your Father. I think he’s in the garage”. The little girl goes to the garage and […]