An elderly couple visit there local chemist. The husband goes up to the cashier. “can i have some condoms miss” “Where going on a naughty weekend” Cashier replies “but you folk must be nearly 70 there is no chance of your wife getting pregnant” “I know” says the old man […]
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if […]
Two old couples are out for a walkand the women are walking up ahead with the men following. One guy is telling the other guy about a restaurant he and his wife went to but he can’t remember the name of it, so he asks “What’s that flower that has […]
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll […]
A couple is walking through the streets of Paris. It starts to rain heavily. He: “Here, take my backpack, darling, and hold it above your head.”–She: “But what about you, my love?! I don’t want you to get wet!”–He: “Ah, don’t worry, petal. I have an umbrella.”
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen – but he never reported it because the thief was still spending considerably less than his wife. What is yellow and can’t swim? An excavator. Did you find it funny? No. Neither did the excavator operator.
A couple sits on a sofa. He has foot odor and she has mouth odor. After a moment of awkward silence, she says, “Paul, I have to tell you something.” “No need,” Paul raises his hand, “it’s OK. I know you ate my socks.”
A man approaches a very beautiful woman in the supermarket and says, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” asked the beautiful woman. To which the man replied, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful […]
but unfortunately they had a car crash and died. Before the gates of St Peter they stood thinking maybe they could get married in heaven. So they ask St Peter, and Peter says ”Well it’s quite rare, but let me see what I can do.” So St Peter goes into […]
A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, “I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one […]
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, “You have any a problem, you come and see Mama.” Later, Marol’s husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps […]
There was an old couple who hadn’t celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked […]
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental […]
