Do you know that? They hear a sentence like “nice that you are there” and think, the other is happy. Far from it, he wishes you the hell. Painful experiences that you do not have to do yourself. Therefore, here is a little life help to be prepared for the biggest catastrophes.
Julian Biermann. Young. Good looking. Big, fawn eyes. Charming. I meet him at the summer party of our company. Drive with him in my BMW Z3 to get cigarettes, have three minutes later his business card in the glove compartment. Well, that does not mean anything, his phone number you can ever give someone who drives so selflessly at one night to the tank. He also wants my card. Sure, performance and return. No topic, maybe he just finds the car cool. It is too.
Back at the party, he hardly leaves my side. Must have nothing to do with me, maybe he will find on his own not only last bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s also difficult, it’s right under the bar. At half past four I’m threatening to fall asleep in spite of the most intense conversation – very weak, finally I was only in the morning half past eight in the office and it is now ridiculous 19 hours later. I’m really very uncomfortable and ashamed I agree, I would have to go to sleepS slowly.
Julian spontaneously seizes my hand, a deep look from brown eyes asks me, together with tender words, for God’s sake not to go. So lovingly held, I remain touched. My hand is in his and is subjected to the next one and a half hours of intense massage.
Four o’clock: the wine is all, the brain is lame and the voice hoarse. As a thank you for two hours less sleep, I take Julian home. Shortly before my home, we order a taxi, after 10 minutes the farewell is approaching. Tenderly Julian takes me in the arm, a gentle kiss on the mouth and a “sleep well and it’s nice to have met you” let me melt despite lousy 12 °.
Sleep is unthinkable, the adrenalin level would be sufficient for a night walk around the Alster. The first coat of paint is in the office at 9:00 in the morning. No topic, I’m there, showered and kicked like a fish in the water. In contrast to my colleagues who, for me completely incomprehensible on this wonderfully rainy Saturday morning grumpy 500 glasses, several hundred pieces of cutlery and what else lying around for parties, put away. But my appearance makes everyone shine, yesterday’s hand-holding colleague is like the rising sun. My readiness to talk will be rewarded at half past ten with a lovely “it has been nice to you” sms.
The rest of the weekend falls victim to the beauty sleep and memory of Julian. Still sunk in dream images, reached me Sunday evening the desire for a meeting the next day. In my and his favorite place. Do you have to look sober, drink a red wine alone is just shit, because all the others always look so stupid. And I live around the corner. It could also apply to me. I mean the invitation. I do too. But it is a mistake. I just do not know yet.
Monday evening. 21:30. Had already fears with the date, it will be nothing. Stupid thoughts. Destructive. Superfluous. I rise elegantly like an elf in my low-lying sports seat, there I see him. Julian. My heart leaps. Would do for the double ox. I should think about equitation. But not now.
Now, sitting by candlelight and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon Julian, I strive for witty conversation despite heartbeat and shortness of breath. Hope I succeed. Well, at least we go last. OK. Just do not overrate anything. So what does not mean anything. Maybe with Julian, only the fridge is empty. Or the heating broken. Or the TV from neighbors roars through the apartment. There are a lot of options, let that be said.
Tuesday dear sms. And mails. And a call. What have I done to deserve this. I’m starting to think he really likes me. Stop! Error! You just can not stand for such overconfidence.
Wednesday the same. It is at 21.00 in the evening. I have hardly slept for four nights, the rush of adrenaline keeps me almost uninterrupted. Everyone who has to learn for an exam should fall in love right before. That saves a lot of coffee, black tea or optionally Red Bull. My mobile rings. The display flashes “Julian Biermann” against me. If I feel like looking at his new apartment. Clear. Then when? Now? Why, surely.
Quick to the bathroom. Make-up is ok. Hair? Fits. Perfume? Which one? Fresh and neutral? Sensual? Seductive? I choose classic. ck one. Can you do nothing wrong.
Good that the apartment is on the third floor. That explains my heartbeat for now. The sofa is just enough for two. Very nice. Probably you could operate with the electrical voltage between us washing machine, dryer and oven at the same time. The wine is good, a rest from our party. Decide to go home despite accommodation offer. Julian takes me to the car. Quite cavalier. But who knows, maybe he just wants to be sure that I’m really going away. This time, two kisses. Hm. Is that a good sign? Or just coincidence? Or is it the wine? The candidate has 100 points – it’s up to the wine.
The Thursday is splashing like that. Get long cramps in the fingers of the many email, after all, all friends – and that is so the twenty- participate in my happiness and it is no longer quite right and cheap to answer all requests in detail. Good decision, highly recommended. You do not have to give any information after the end of the story, but can concentrate on the essentials. To the always disappointing male race. But I’m not far enough yet.
Friday night. 12:30. I just spent a few hours in the chair in front of me, as the cellphone rings. The experienced reader guesses the caller. Julian Biermann is on the way to the neighborhood, Hamburg’s sinful mile and is in the mood for my company. The heart is racing and cheering, but he probably does not call for coffee in the middle of the night.
Joyful hug to welcome. Hold tight. Arm in arm through the streets. Hand in hand in the bar. The room is tight. I feel his breath. Then his mouth. The rest is not family safe. At five in the morning we part with a heavy heart, Julian’s overnight visit prevents us from spending the night together. But anticipation is the greatest pleasure. Says. You have to console yourself with something.
I console myself until Tuesday night. One should stop when it is the most beautiful. Also a clever saying. A shit. Who invented that? Julian likes him well.
Tastes are just different. Interpretations too.
I think it was the wine. He was just too good.