Tachycardia, stomachache, spewing nausea. Identity crisis. Life crisis. Julian Biermann, the man I love wants to communicate with me only on a spiritual level, to gain more self-awareness. So, so today man sells the end of a relationship. Funny, I still had the crazy illusion that man was an honest and courageous creature of divine creation. What happened? When? Slowly it dawns on me. All clear, haha, everything just a stupid nightmare.
Relaxed, I sink back into my pillow, turn around, as my eyes fall on the alarm clock. Shit, 8:30. I would have to sit behind the wheel. So out of the cuddle, over to the bathroom. Look in the mirror. Horrible, the mascara spreads joyfully in all eye wrinkles. The rest probably sticks in the pillow own fault, why I was after the Desperate Housewife DVD session with my girls at half past three just too lazy to make-up. So, cleansing milk on the tired skin, brush your teeth, comb your hair. Pumuckl says hello, what the hell, showering is no longer possible. Half a liter of hairspray, ok, fits, today there is no VIP in the office anyway.
Coffee at home fails, no matter, I approve first in the office, nice and cozy with music and a croissant. My BMW Z3 snakes dynamically through all the car gaps – my God, what are the people just dangling rum on the street, ham nothing to do, here you can drive 60, so there you can probably aim at least 85, you grandpa. Well, now it starts to ship, as all sail as if sightseeing only with 40 by the area. Super, the umbrella is in the office, how am I supposed to come to the bakery without looking like a wet rat? Big number, I hope I still have cereal in the cupboard.
Done at 9:40 am, just ten minutes overdue I pike into the office and leave, obviously not first, my footprints on the prestigious light beige mottled Hochflor flooring. There, the trail in front of me, long, pointed shoes size 48, this is my boss. Could at least leave the shoes before he slips across the floor, the arrogant bag, we have to wipe his dirt afterwards again.
OK, start up the PC, go to the kitchen, make coffee. The voice of the gentleman sounds through the office: at 10.00 o’clock a huge animal comes from the bank, so people, zack, zack, now brings up the pig here times, the man flies extra from Munich. Nice, that one learns in time, well, certainly a surprise guest, who spontaneously sat in the plane, because in Hamburg is so awesome weather. All men went to the carpet sucking, kitchen wienern, coffee and tea, you never know, Konfi from the traces of our meeting yesterday. 9:55 – done, we and the rooms.
Well, finally the well-deserved coffee and off to the desk. Look into the bank account – nice, minus 15 thousand, there is nothing left today, one hour online banking saved. For three hours suppliers put off, hey, but I do not puke, what can I do for it, if the health insurance companies take off at the end of each month so much coal.
Blink. Blink. Blink. Urgent. Resubmission. Call the tax office. Stupid bitch, how am I supposed to meet the deadlines for all the editions. She can call me, call the Federal Office of Finance. I’m learning again, I have to submit an application for a request to create an application form. Talk time a good two hours. No wonder, the German tax code alone has a share of 55% of all tax laws worldwide.
Desperate look at the clock. 14:20. My mood is 3 km under the carpet. I have to get out of here, blow my brain free. My nightmare comes to mind, ridiculously the whole thing. I pick up the phone, Mr Biermann, no, I’m sorry, he is at table with the new colleague. Did not he tell me yet, new colleague. He can experience something tonight. Well, then just the cereal, I’m too fat anyway.
Back at the desk, the entrance post piles up on it. Did they collect extra for the whole week for today? That takes at least an hour. What have we here? A reminder, aha. And here, a final reminder, oha, this is our main supplier, because I have to use all my charm, they have Lieferstop.
The day goes on, but also has only 24 hours and after 8 hours I leave the hallowed halls, make my way to my bank to negotiate a higher Dispo.
Only ten minutes late, I glide into the store with a sugary smile: Good evening, I have an appointment with my personal bank advisor, Mr. Schmalspur. How, who has an appointment? Now? Hello, let’s go, the idiot has called me extra the day before yesterday in the office to make the appointment today. He should take Tai Ginseng for his memory to work again. They are sorry? I can not buy anything for that either. A bag of gummy bears as an excuse? Do you want to fool me? Do I want to wait an hour? Nah, do you think I have nothing better to do in my precious free time than waiting for your financial freak? I’ll be back on Monday and align Mr. Narrow Gauge, again I will not let myself be put off.
Finally, at home, I approve of a relaxation bath with invigorating lavender, I treat my hair with hairspray glued hair I take a cure with egg yolks and chamomile, cream myself from head to toe with a mild body lotion, so the skin, as the advertising on the bottle as well lively as plausibly assured, again as tender as a baby’s bottom.
Expectantly, I sit in the chair afterwards, beautiful as Aphrodite and wait for my beloved’s call. Yip, punctually at half past eight the phone rings: like, you’re sorry, you still have a meeting and it takes so long? Oh, you still go drinking together afterwards? Who is we? Your new colleague? Yes, of course, she moved to Hamburg only a few days ago and does not know anybody here. Of course I understand – bastard.
Katie and Beckie cheer: we thought you did not come today anymore. Yes, the second season of Desperate Housewifes is already in the DVD player. And honey, bring a bottle of wine, we only have two left.
Lucky that the day has 24 hours ..