It was a few weeks ago. Shopping with my girlfriend. We were so far done with our errands, and now strolled gradually to the parking lot in the garage, where we had parked our car.

My girlfriend wanted to visit the toilets in the shopping arcade on the way home, and I waited, laden with the shopping bags and a coffee-to-go in my right hand in front of some smaller shops.

I am not a friend of such shopping tours. People make me upset every time. That in turn is not good for my already elevated blood pressure. But people leave you no other choice. You just can not ignore it, as much as I try.

Young families who run their whining offspring unattended everywhere, allowing the displays to be touched by sleazy slippers, and innocent bystanders attacked by Marvin, Kati, Jasper or Nele. Although such spoiled brats sometimes have something practical. I explain that.

Surely you have mixed emotions that can grow to aggression, observed that the sweet little ones, if they are not the longed for toys or the two very specific Ü-eggs, certainly the missing pieces of the current collection series in their inner little yellow plastic shrine, start frantic to throw themselves on the floor of the business, there unfortunately very loud express their displeasure, _a be r_ useful for it by slipping over the God knows what white for bacteria treads beautifully clean hold. That, in turn, is extremely practical. And it does not lack an involuntary comedy, when the very young 17-year-old mother, who is already looking forward to mother pleasures, but just yesterday learned that her somewhat simplistically structured, cap-wearing 19-year-old boyfriend, who often gets violent, because the support in front and behind is not enough to buy halfway decent beer and brand cigarettes, with her best, of course, pregnant girlfriend, and has popped Now that’s over, our young mum is emotionally overloaded. And that’s why she lets her body-fruit slide down the floor of the discount-market. Because the unhygenic clothes of the child, the beginning of bad education of the child, or even the indignant glances of other customers are far from nothing compared to the feelings that Jungmutti still holds to her asocial ex-boyfriend. And in two weeks at the latest, she will be reunited with him, offering his insults and being happy

2 room apartment chain smokes, and does not give a shit about the future together.

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I’m a bit vague – excuse me please.

It was about the annoying fellow human beings, whose behavior often leads one to the limits of a bloodlust.

Another clientele are the kind of people who can only occur and live in a collective. Their social origin can be manifold. However, they are characterized in public by the fact that even the smallest action can be performed with at least three tribesmen. But even that must be extensively planned beforehand in detail with the involvement of the public. Preferably, such a group blocks sidewalks, passageways, parts of pedestrian areas and the like in a large pulp. The vociferous plan discussions usually last a very long time, but often do not bring satisfactory results for all concerned, so that then a new battle plan must be designed.

However, the problem of collecting public areas in the context of unauthorized demonstrations exists in other variations.

* _Parchen- Pulk: _ * Preferably on the weekend or at the pre-Christmas time you meet this subspecies. Individual  meets  Steffi and Malte while strolling, or whoever, and there are extremely mindless and pointless conversations à la “Are you also shopping?”

(the bags full of all sorts of stuff are probably invisible at this moment), or even a classic conversation “Human, is pretty cold today!” (The outdoor thermometer a few meters away, which underlines the accuracy of this statement with its – 18 degrees, or even the sharp glut of ice, which blows the entertaining in the faces, all this is ignored.)

* _Alten- Blockade:_ *Ähnlich wie vorher genannte Subjekte. Nur sind die älteren Herrschaften oftmals bewaffnet mit Gehwagen, die in einer Reihe querstehend ein Weiterkommen unmöglich machen.

* _External meetings: _ * Often dangerous and explosive. The foreign shouters bring to the uncertainty about the incomprehensible very loudly presented discussions / discussions / disputes (exactly one can not assess that usually) additionally threatening acting gestures with in the events, so that one often has to fear that every moment Krummdolch drawn, a firearm fired, the hidden explosive belt with shouted in broken German “Allah is powerful!” activated or just a rosary is brought out. In addition, as a passing passer-by, you must be careful not to be spit on accidentally or intentionally by a participant in such a discussion group, because this disgusting territorial behavior is also very common. So:

* People with the ‘shot-roe-syndrome’: * Not very dangerous, but annoying. People who stay groundless in the middle of the way (often seen in gentlemen: behind their backs crossed arms). Just like a shot deer listening to the sounds of Louis Armstrongs’ “WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.”

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Meanwhile my girlfriend was back. We were able to get on the way. . Since the two people are rather unpleasant to me, and I do not want to know about their long-term plan to look for a shared apartment for their nest building (since my girlfriend will tell me this conversation 1: 1 anyway, always with the hidden intention, I also sit down a little to look at the shop window displays. Also not very innovative, but still the best alternative.

Just when I wanted to take a sip from my coffee-to-go, I saw IT. You love time – what was THAT? Out of sheer terror, I dropped the coffee mug to the floor. The splashes of hot drink on my leg were secondary at the moment. I looked around. But apart from my gross motor slips, nobody seemed to notice anything. Some grinned about my mishap. But I did not care. I looked in the direction of my head-shaking and embarrassed friend. She, Katja and Michael just looked at me blankly. My God, did not you see it? Only now did I realize that I was in front of the shop window of a large perfumery chain. And there was this thing on a billboard, right next to the lovely image of the enchanting Sharon Stone, who was probably applying for something.

But this ETWAS … who or what was it? I could not define it. Slowly, I calmed down and felt the sounds around me again. I had been so shocked for a short time that I had not noticed anything and nobody except this DING.

Now I looked at this ETWAS again with the reassuring knowledge that it was 1st behind glass and 2nd was probably harmless.

At least I hoped.

And while I looked at the picture of this being, Marilyn Manson and all the Calvin Klein ad campaigns with all their androgynous models seemed like a picture book to the Waltons family. This thing here … I could not say if it was male or female, despite a free upper body. The face of a mannequin had more humanity. The eyes looked like one of those Manga figures. The ears did not seem to be real either. Way too big. The whole thing seemed to be a damn bad photomontage, and it was more frightening than curious about the product being advertised. Even the hairstyle, which was supposed to look original, looked like a bad accident. Metal in the form of various piercings made the face of this creature look like a mutated form of a Steiff animal. It was not scared that bothered me. Rather a dark idea. If such a thing in the advertisement takes a position, then there have dark forces their hands in the game. And they distribute messages with these pictures, with cell phone ringtones, casting shows, Dieter Bohlen biographies, Tatjana Gsell, Tokio Hotel and microwave Currywurst in plastic containers. The days of humanity are numbered. Now it is important to make people docile by such means. The days of humanity are numbered. Now it is important to make people docile by such means. The days of humanity are numbered. Now it is important to make people docile by such means.

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I had to think of the people I’ve already told you about. Of course … all that made sense now. These people have already been assimilated. That’s why her strange behavior. Panic rose in me. My God – actually I just wanted to show you my view of the various annoying people. But with this new knowledge came a completely different, horrible picture.

Let’s just hope it’s not too late. Do you know the movie “YOU LIVE” by John Carpenter? That suddenly did not seem so fictitious to me.

Suddenly, when my girlfriend, Katja and her water carrier were standing next to me, they tore me out of my thoughts.

“What was wrong with you,” my friend wanted to know. She sounded worried. Or was she already infected? Should she work on me?

But yes, she too urged me to start a family. Family? Ha!

Probably more slaves for the new master race.

Before I could answer Michael noticed with his 10, – € brush haircut and the authority mustache poster behind me, which had changed everything.

“Look, that’s this crazy new advertisement from …”

I had understood and cut him off.

So that’s it, you already have them, and now you want me.

That could suit you that way. Not with me!”

I ran away, leaving the three of them with dumbfounded faces.

And again and again I shouted at the people “They are among us, they are among us!”