A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit. He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower […]
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!” The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, “But, sir, it’s fresh ground!”
A teacher says to Little Johnny “If I gave you two cats and another two cats and another two, how many cats would you have?” Johnny says “Seven.” Teacher says “No, listen carefully. If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you […]
A man and a woman are captured by cannibals. A man and a woman are captured by cannibals. The cannibals, after some deliberation, decided make soup out of both of them. A few minutes after being placed into a large pot, the man starts crying hysterically and the woman laughing […]
Two teenage male friends named Bob & Jim go on a cross-country road trip. and while they’re in Colorado, they get stuck in a massive blizzard. They happen to find a huge house and they knock on the door. A beautiful woman in her 30s answers the door, invites them […]
A farmer needed to buy a rooster for his chickens. Another man had a rooster for sale. The farmer goes to buy the rooster. The man tells him this is Brewster, he will service your chickens, but he is a sex addict and will go after anything. The farmer buys […]
A dad walks past his Sons room He notices the room is super clean, the beds well kept and everything looks organised. A bit suspicious he looks inside and finds a letter on the study table marked just DAD. With trembling hands he opens rhe letter and it reads “Dad, […]
Two brussels sprouts who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured brussels sprout called 911 and did what he could to help his injured brussels sprout friend. […]
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl. They had great seats right behind the Chiefs’ bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand […]
A firearm cartridge walks into a bar. And sees a pretty lady sadly nursing a beer “Why the long face?” asks the cartridge “My father, he’s gone missing” the woman replied “Damn, well I’ll try and look out for him. What’s his name?” “Oswald Ulysses Tobin” says the woman, ” […]
John asks his high school crush Mary to the senior prom The day arrives, and he picks her up in his dad’s car, sporting a fresh new suit, and he’s just buzzing with excitement to be going out with the most beautiful girl in the world. Once they arrive Mary […]
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what […]
Mary is invited to her boyfriend Johnnys home for dinner and to meet his parents She’s very nervous about meeting them, and is on her best manners so as to ensure she gives her best impression. The parents are warm and seem pleased to make her acquaintance after all they’ve […]
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