Rain. Like there’s nothing else in this goddamn city. Rain.

As I am on the much too wet sidewalk with my much too wet shoes my tracks

through my also much too wet fellows pushed, who for whatever reason had set foot in front of the door, much me a neon sign that I had never seen at this point of the street. After all, I ran here every Tuesday. For 14 years already. My God! 14 long years. Had I just stayed in Minnesota and become a rancher like my 3 older brothers. No, fuck it. I did not want to convince myself of an inbred gang and at some point beat my stupid wife half dead in the delusion of the good self-brewed whiskey. I had better things to do.

Like every Tuesday I was on the way to the Black Dog to flush the frustration of my daily work and its negative side effects into oblivion, but I had never noticed this advertisement before. Maybe it was because in the last three weeks, when it was pouring out of buckets, I was always trudging through the desolate streets with my head down. Today, however, as if in spite of the forces of nature, I had thrown my head back and cast a silent scream against the divine authority, and my mouth had been slowly flooded with sour-tasting rainwater. Poor Noah, how must you have suffered then. Stinky animals and rain. I would have killed the gang and made a nice life with cattle and zebra roast on the ark. That’s it.

Pink elephant in the veiled environment. Pink elephants. I laughed inside. Of those had recently seen a few. The cold pink light magically attracted me and before I knew it, I already had the doorknob to the tavern in my hand and pulled.

Grell dazzling light like from a thousand suns took the view and robbed me of the senses.

I staggered into the bar. Usually I always stumbles out of it. But as I already guessed, this bar was completely different from any of the others I had visited in my long career as a professional casual drinker. Somehow there were only women in this pub. Ok, in decent puffs there were also mostly hookers. However, they always had some gorillas around them, which caused the non-paying customers a few hours later to crawl on their knees to their wives, apologizing and shouting because they had to explain where they had the black eye and why business cards of dubious establishments stuck in their shirt pockets. Here, however, it was a much more pleasing nuance. The barman, sorry, the barmaid wore a white shirt, black flannel trousers, matching suspenders and bow tie. She had also painted a mustache on her and Harr troffed from pomade. A nice side vertex reminiscent of this guy from Germany, what was his name again, Adalbert Zittler or something, dragging her extraordinarily pretty face into a macabre but funny contradiction. The guests of the Kaschemme were only women as far as I could make out after a few seconds of wonderment. Maybe that was the reason why it was suddenly quiet and everyone was staring in my direction. dragged her extraordinarily pretty face into a macabre but funny contradiction. The guests of the Kaschemme were only women as far as I could make out after a few seconds of wonderment. Maybe that was the reason why it was suddenly quiet and everyone was staring in my direction. dragged her extraordinarily pretty face into a macabre but funny contradiction. The guests of the Kaschemme were only women as far as I could make out after a few seconds of wonderment. Maybe that was the reason why it was suddenly quiet and everyone was staring in my direction.

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“What’s wrong with you dude, have you got lost?” asked the barmaid in a voice worthy of a grater. “I uh ..” I felt stupid. Why did I stutter in the presence of such beautiful folk? “I have animal thirst, the weather can be a very annoying voice without a glass of Burbon in my hand, and I wanted to see my little pink friend Dumbo again, and I had to come here, right?” I hoped that my shrewd address would ignite. A few women giggled and took care of their own. The barmaid looked at me suspiciously. “Are not any of’ner patrol the way you look.” Come on, I like you lad, have cutting and are not as a milk bear as the others we bleeding outside in the gutter had to leave “Milchbärtchen I thought Tss, the little Zittlerbraut is kess., Just my thing, a mouth like a coachman and the figure of an angel So my steps toward the counter and let me sink with a deep sigh on the stool. “Oh my, sir! What a louse is you about the tits, er, sorry, you have no. I mean – over the liver? “” The louse’s name is Iris and I’m stuck in her case. Do not come forward and not back! “I said dejectedly.” So, you’re stuck. In irises. Not before and not back. Understand! Is she your mistress? “” Nah, I’m not that stupid and marry! I like it uncomplicated. I’m a private investigator and her case is about a house, a few hundred thousand dollars, and her ancient husband dead in the pool. “I said, pointing to the bottle of Burbon on the shelf behind her, and she understood and poured me a glass I wanted to put the bottle back on the shelf, but saw my longing look and left the bottle next to me on the counter. “Well, then everything is clear, right? For me, the case is scratched, “Bernadette said, a name badge glittering on her shirt that was completely filled with her voluptuous , I found myself staring at her bust as I ordered another drink.” Do you like it? “She stretched her back so that her stem even more bombastic came into its own. I cleared my throat and loosened my tie knot. I was sweating slightly and I realized that more blood was accumulating in my lumbar region than normal. “I can not deny it.” I fingered my empty glass with shaky hands. This girl drove me crazy. Despite the painted mustache and the Zittler haircut, she was just a stunner. “Will you give me one more before I get even more nervous?” I said, trying a smoother smile. “Of course sweetheart, as much as you want.” She poured in and looked at me blatantly. These eyes. As she stood so close to me, for the first time I consciously saw her eyes. Emerald green and bright as green hellfire. I had to be honest with her. Maybe a chance like this did not come to me a second time. ” You make me nervous baby. “I said and tried to sound cool.” I’ve never seen such a stunner like you in my life. I could not fake it with you. “Her gaze changed slightly, a sparkle in her eyes told me she was not mad at me.” Hm, what are we going to do? I do not really like weak men. Actually, I do not really like men but you’re kind of different. Ne lost soul like me and so many here. Souls do not care if they are lost in a male or a female body. “She said and now leaned over so far that her were resting on the counter I almost lost my temper and was about to just grab them Her fire-red mouth approached my ear. I swallowed. “My shift here is almost over, I live not far from here, I want to sleep with you, all night long, we do what we want, no matter what, what do you say?” She whispered and turned away from behind the counter and looked at me encouragingly. I shiver. A bump formed in my pants. When I started to speak, I had three dumplings in my throat. “Uh … I think so … I mean … damn it!” She smiled and put her thumbs under her suspenders and pulled on the strap. She let the rubber bands snap against her and her nipples hardened immediately. “Well then let’s go.” She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. Another barmaid appeared from a door behind the counter. “You take over Liza, I have something planned. “Iris immediately seemed to realize this was a night  in the air, smiled at her and winked at me.” Okay, cut off both of them. Have fun! “Iris sang and waved goodbye as Bernadette and I left the bar.

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Outside it was pouring as usual and we ran along the sidewalk. Drenched to the bone, we arrived at their booth and climbed up a fire escape, Bernadette in front of me. Her ass was gorgeous. Round, not too small and tight. I accidentally dropped a rung and nearly fell. Fortunately, Bernadette did not notice. She was already standing at a window, fiddling with a lock. “I never use the front door you need to know because I’m two months behind with my rent and I do not feel like catching my landlord.” I smiled. I always liked the little one better. When she finally arrived at the apartment, she immediately began to undress. She did not care if I watched her or not. I followed her and hastily stripped off my clothes while watching her. She was a goddess. There was nothing more to say about her body. Just perfect. She disappeared in her room. I trotted after her as if hypnotized. When I entered, she grabbed me with a hard grip and flung me . I groaned as I fell on the hard mattress. She laughed and jumped on me. Wild kisses followed in which she bit my lower lip bloody and half shredded me with her fingernails. A wild cat with double D. She grabbed my thing and licked it. I could not stand it anymore. I tore her around and pushed her back . I dug into my iron-hard thing. We both groaned with lust. This would be the night of our lives. There was nothing more to say about her body. Just perfect. She disappeared in her room. I trotted after her as if hypnotized. When I entered, she grabbed me with a hard grip and flung me. I groaned as I fell on the hard mattress. She laughed and jumped on me. Wild kisses followed in which she bit my lower lip bloody and half shredded me with her fingernails. A wild cat with double D. She grabbed my thing and licked it. I could not stand it anymore. I tore her around and pushed her back. I dug into my iron-hard thing. We both groaned with lust. This would be the night of our lives. There was nothing more to say about her body. Just perfect. She disappeared in her room. I trotted after her as if hypnotized. When I entered, she grabbed me with a hard grip and flung me . I groaned as I fell on the hard mattress. She laughed and jumped on me. Wild kisses followed in which she bit my lower lip bloody and half shredded me with her fingernails. A wild cat with double D. She grabbed my thing and licked it. I could not stand it anymore. I tore her around and pushed her back. I dug into my iron-hard thing. We both groaned with lust. This would be the night of our lives.

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I felt a jerk on my shoulders as if someone wanted to drag me away from her. Her husband shot it through my head. Another hard jerk and I opened my eyes. Bright sunlight blinded me. At least twelve children jumped and I was lying in. My head hurt terribly. A thick, shapeless barrel of a woman strode toward me and held a jam jar of cloudy, brown liquid under my nose. “Here take a sip of it Ike, yesterday was again brimming like a shit!” Her toothless smile seemed strangely familiar to me. “Come on, come on, and you kids are going down to Uncle Trevor now and pissing on that, understand! Paps and I have plans.” She grinned again and a dark foreboding and my memory crawled like death. The BBQ party yesterday. My three brothers. The whiskey. Bullshit Minnesota and Irene. My wife. Oh God help me. It was just a dream. Irene leaned over her and her foul breath was almost exhausting. For what came now I needed the whole shitty jam jar full of whiskey. I drank heavily and surrendered to my fate.