Knut does not want that!

Knut. Everywhere Knut. Knut, the almighty.

And everyone likes Knut. It is impossible not to meet Knut in any way.

Every day, the media supply the Knut-horny taff- /, SAM / – or explosive audience with the latest felt values ​​of the small fur animal. Meticulous information about Knuts’ constitution, his lunch, quantity, shape and appearance of his excrement and speculation about the now necessary application of sedatives in the small land predator.

But Knut does not want that.

Even about his zookeeper, who is even attached to a father role of his protégé, and can enjoy by his animal-loving nature in the ladies greatest admiration and possible marriages and Begattungsnachfragen, the delighted Couchpotato learns everything.

Of course, the Berlin Zoo enjoys everything very much. Record-breaking visitor numbers flush plenty of euros into the coffers. Regular reports by zoo employees in front of the cameras of nearly all TV stations about Knuts’ state of mind will soon be published together with the stock market values ​​as a constant news ticker at N24 and EURONEWS

– CNN is still thinking. Negotiations are already underway for a 24-hour live webcam of Knuts’ housing on pay-TV.

But Knut does not want that.

Plush Knuts, T-Shirts, Cell Phone Ringtones with original Knut Bäuerchen,

Bravo star cuts enrich resourceful wheelers. Expectant parents want to baptize their offspring Knut. First lawsuits on the legal protection of the name Knut are already under way.

Ask the PLAYBOY about a photo session with Knut, of a lascivious Heidi ‘Seek the next super polar bear’ – Klum erotic

Yoghurt gum lingers between her toes, is also legally checked because of moral concerns.

But Knut does not want that.

Knut enjoys great popularity. He is well cared for, and all the world shows interest in the polar bear. Ausland sends reporters and photographers to Berlin Zoo. Politicians take Knut sponsorships. Knut-Mania everywhere.

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But Knut does not want that.

Gone are the murky thoughts of his sad start to this glamorous life when his polar bear mom did not want him. Gone are the discussions about letting the little robber go to sleep. And that’s just as well. Because otherwise Knut would be dead now, and many people would have gone with this decision a penny of money through the rag.

But did anyone ever ask Knut what he thinks about the whole spectacle? No! He has been denied legal assistance. He is just a little polar bear without rights, at the mercy of his supporters, fans and the feature pages of the newspapers delivered. Knut does not agree with that at all. And appearances are deceiving, if you think that the bear is constantly radiating an almost human smile.

An insider reported on regular Botox treatments in the animal, so that Knut always happy and sweet and sweet looks.

But Knut does not want that.

A few days ago Knut was able to listen to two cameramen.

They joked that KNUT was the abbreviation for * K * apital * N * different * U * nnützer * T * Augenichts. They laughed sardonically. Knut was very angry and wished the plague to both of them.

Since this incident, Knut has lost all interest in the hype surrounding his person. He was more than that, right? He has never asked to become the darling of men. At first it was very nice, but now … the other zoo animals avoid contact with him – yes, they despise him because he is the darling of the visitors.

Besides, what will become of him when he grows up? Then nobody is more interested in him. He would vegetate like all the other animals here lonely to himself. And someday, out of pity and desperation, they would bring him a completely foreign polar bear female into his enclosure. That’s how it works with the pandas. And because they live in captivity, they do not know what to do with each other. All this just because you humanize Knut here now.

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But Knut does not want that.

Knut likes to live in the so-called nature, the wilderness. At the polar. He does not really know how it is there, but it has to be better than here.

The other day he heard the song “Polar Bear” from Gray Group on the portable radio of the keeper cleaning Knuts’s enclosure. That pleased Knut. He also wants to be a polar bear on the cold polar. Yes, he would like that. But nothing would come of it with his background. How could he get from the Berlin Zoo to the Polar? He could not even buy a one-way ticket. He has not seen a penny from the revenue of zoo visitors, photos and merchandising.

Not even a savings account had been created for him.

But Knut has a perfidious plan.

After what he has heard, he will be shown as an attraction at the G8 meeting in Heiligendamm. That’s his chance. When all those in power stroke the sweet polar bear and have them photographed with him to get votes for the next elections, Knut will finally use his predatory instincts. He will eat up George W. Bush. This is a daring action, of course, but Knut trusts in the support of the G8 opponents, the animal rights activists and the Bush haters. All together make up a pretty big lobby. They would not let anyone shoot Knut. (In the case of George W. Bush, one would even celebrate it frenetically.) He would not be as shabby as his colleague Bruno at the Bavarians. Then you will probably put him back behind bars for the first time and again discussions about the future fate of the bear would start. Again, the media would have been a source of new reports for weeks, and how could the sweet cuddly bear become such a beast? and similar boulevardesque zippers in this direction. Again, there will be voices calling for the death of such a wild beast. But Knut will also assist advocates who explain his behavior as a natural act of instinct.

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Then, when some grass has grown over the matter, Knuts’s plan is for the people of PETA to work for his pardon. Of course not without a certain self-interest. There will be photoshoots for PETA campaigns with him. And with a bit of luck, he is in the frame of such a campaign for outdoor shooting in the Arctic. Once there, Knut will secretly make his escape at night.

Then Knut is where he belongs: in nature!

There he will be able to live like the polar bear sang by gray areas in the cold polar.

That’s what Knut wants!