if you pay the rates of your new car with returnable bottles!
if you can act as a fire breather without first taking a sip of alcohol!
if you are greeted by all the first-line pennants on your way to your office!
when the wine festival of your hometown is named after you!
if strangers keep ringing at your door because they suspect a drinks wholesaler in your shack!
if the schnapps distillers do not send their offers to the trade, but directly to you!
if the breweries have to work during your vacation time!
when you wake up in the window of a furniture store in the morning!
if you only need to breathe flies instead of chasing after them!
if you get a bill for the sobering cell – because of continuous use!
If the landlord, who always laments that you are his only guest, can afford a luxury vacation in Florida every year!
when you wake up the next morning find the Hunchback of Notre Dame next to you in bed!
if you try in vain to cancel your order for “200 mouse traps for white mice” the next day!
if your blood samples become an unexpected export hit for Transylvanian pubs!
if your blood exam every time the analysis computer is disassembled, because the technicians are sure that such a thing does not exist!
if a burial at sea is out of the question for you, because then a mass fish mortality is feared!
even if your cremation is forbidden because of the risk of explosion!