This is your captain speaking

“Good day, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and 
we are glad that you have given us your trust and have come aboard, 
among us you see the expanse of the ocean, on the left the small island, and dense next to it, directly under the burning wing, the little yellow boat, from which I am speaking to you … 

of the non-swimmers we say goodbye in all courtesy and the floats of you and wish for a safe journey. 
Please come upon leaving of the plane not the candles replacing the emergency lights.Passengers 

on the standing places are asked to stop shouting.
Sedentary passengers are asked to raise their right arm, making it easier to pull them out of the rubble if the land is reached. 

If oxygen masks were present, I would ask them to put them on. 
Since the lifejackets are very expensive, we have switched to TÜV-tested water wings. These are to be obtained through the hole in the bottom in the seventh row. 

In the event of death, the security fee of 5 marks will be refunded to your survivors. 

In the cockpit, they find the bodies of 5 hijackers who disagreed about the target. 

The toilets should not be used anymore, since for 4 months no airport wanted to pump out the tanks cheaply.

We thank you for your confidence in Corruption Airways on the way to Bogot and ask again not to put your feet in the uncovered hydraulic poles. ”

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