The grassy green hair

The alarm rang as always point 6:30. Elfriede Wohlfahrt was a little surprised that she usually woke up a few minutes before the alarm clock. Slightly slower than usual, she sat up and sat on the edge of the table, slipping her feet into her slippers and rubbing her eyes, which today were a little more tired than usual. Then, like every morning, she stood up briefly, pulling on the long cotton nightgown his butt and flopped back on the edge. Then she pulled the nightgown over her head, folded it carefully, and laid it on the blanket next to her. As every morning, she looked down at herself. Her powerful bosom barred her eyes so that only her knees were visible from her voluptuous body. She felt comfortable with her pronounced feminine curves.

Like every morning she grabbed with both hands relish her heavy br**sts. Her full bosom was still firm and taut. After a short while of sensual pleasure, she grabbed the fresh bra ready. Elegantly her arms slipped into the straps, she pressed the cups close to her br**sts, reached back and snapped the lock closed. Then, like every morning, she closed her eyes, bent her back, opened her upper body, laid her head back and sighed softly.

Carefully, she got up, stretched and stripped off her white cotton underpants. Before she grabbed the ready, also white fresh cotton underpants, she grabbed her butt cheeks with both hands. They were still solid too. Firm and luscious as her br**sts. She slipped into the fresh cotton underpants, pulled her up, drove with both thumbs under the rubber, pulled him a little forward, turned in a swift motion thumbs out and let the rubber enjoyable on their bacon rolls. Yes, she was satisfied with herself and her body. One hundred and seventy-six pounds of buxom femininity, one hundred and sixty centimeters tall.

Like every day, she sat down on the edge dressed in fresh, fragrant underwear and mentally followed the day’s program. Breakfast, tidying up, little puzzles with newspaper reading, shopping, preparing lunch, eating, washing dishes, a little pause. No, Jessica would not come to school after school this afternoon. Today was something special on the program: For 15:30 she was registered in the Salon Schiller. It was time to put her perms back in order. Elfriede Wohlfahrt was looking forward to this change. The visit to the hairdressing salon was not only a necessary act of personal hygiene for her, above all it was a social event that set a highlight in her everyday life. So today had something to offer.

In the best of spirits she got up to admire her lush, feminine curves in the mirror, as she did every morning. As she stepped in front of the large mirror, she seized the horror. “Neeeeeeiiiiinnnn !!!” – “Hiiiiiiiiiiilllllfe !!!” – “No this can not be!!!” – “For God’s sake, what’s that?” She just could not believe what she saw. She closed her eyes, pressed both hands firmly to her face and slid her hands slowly down to her neck. Then she pressed her palms together in prayer. The two thumbs firmly pressed on the larynx, chin on the tips of the two index fingers, the dome of the middle finger pressed against the chin, she pleaded with her eyes closed “Oh God, do not let that be true! Please, please, do that I just dreamed it all! ”

But all prayer, hope and supplication had not helped. She did not pay attention to her sensual roundish forms. Not even the wide open eyes and the distorted face. No – with horror, panic and fear she saw only one thing: her hair was green! Grass green! A rich, juicy, strong grass green!

Elfriede Wohlfahrt could not believe it. As well as? You could not believe something like that. That was just incomprehensible. ‘No, that must not be! Please, God forbid, do not let me go insane! ‘ In deep despair, she closed her eyes, hurried , threw herself on her stomach, pressed her face firmly into the mattress and pulled a pillow over the back of her head. ‘Stay calm, Elfriede. Very quiet. That was a hallucination, a hallucination. Come to rest, then you will see that everything is alright. Maybe it’s just a sight loss. ‘ It took a while for her heart to calm down again. Gradually her fear subsided, her breathing became more regular, and the shaking ebbed away a little.

She struggled to her feet and sat on the edge, burying her face in her hands and trying to sort out her thoughts. ‘No matter what you see in the mirror, Elfriede, you’re not crazy. You are a strong woman, Elfriede, and you can handle it. ‘ Staggering, she forced herself in front of the mirror. No, these were no hallucinations, no hallucinations, no visual impairment. Her hair was green, grass green. Like rich juicy green grass. She was surprised when she went through her perms with both hands. Her hair felt the same as always. She curled the curls between her fingers, but there was not the slightest difference. Only this color. This horribly green color. What, for God’s sake, had just happened?

Elfried Wohlfahrt knew she needed help. And immediately. Quite, very urgently. Hastily she ran to the phone. Her hands were trembling and she could not handle dialing her daughter’s excitement. She was about to shout hysterically when she finally remembered that she had memorized the number and that she only needed to press space 1. ‘Come Christina, go! Please, please, go! ‘

When the phone rang, Christina was confused at first, because at first she thought it was the alarm clock. ‘Oh no, the phone. Who in heaven’s name is calling at the crack of dawn? Certainly wrong again. ‘ “Yes, hello, Christina Hartmann here.”

“Christina, Christina!”

Immediately Christina knew that something bad had happened.

“Christina, you have to come right away, something terrible has happened!”

That’s how Christina had never met her mother. “But Mama, what’s going on? Calm down!”

“Come here, come, make you come!”

“But tell me, what happened?”

“… can not … see for yourself …”

“Mom, for God’s sake, Mom, I’m coming in. Mom, Mama, Mom, shut up!”

Full of panic, Christina ran into the hallway, tore the car key from the key board and shouted as loud as she could “Kaaarrrlll !! I have to go to Mama right away, something terrible has happened, you have to take care of Jessi.”

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Before Karl could answer, he heard the front door slam shut. How was he going to take care of Jessica now when he had to be in the office at eight?

Elfriede Wohlfahrt dropped the receiver to the floor. In panic, she ran into the bathroom and grabbed the scissors. But when she tried to cut off one of the grassy green curls, she struck. The hair could not be cut off. As hard as she tried, she just could not cut off a single hair. When Elfriede Wohlfahrt fainted, she was incredibly lucky that she did not hurt herself with her scissors or hit her head on the bathtub.

Christina had not noticed how she got to her mother’s nearby house. When no one on her storm bells opened, she unceremoniously broke a disc and climbed through the window. “Mama, Mama, where are you? – Mama, Mama, tell me something, please, where are you?” Kitchen no, living room no, room no. When Cristina saw her mother lying motionless on the doormat in the bathroom, she was relieved and horrified at the same time. “Mom, Mom, what are you doing for things, mom, wake up!” Presently she filled the toothbrush cup with cold water and poured it into her mother’s face. Mama, Mama, what are you doing for things, why did you just dye your hair so badly? ” Then only a single hysterical scream: “Mammmaaa !!!”

With all her might, Christina dragged her bulky mother into the room and heaved the mighty but firm and pleasantly feminine body. When Elfriede Wohlfahrt finally awoke from the powerlessness, it took another half an eternity until she had sobbing, crying, screaming, shaking, shaking her daughter had reported what had happened. Christina could not believe it. That was just incredible. Only when she herself tried to cut a grass-green hair with the pair of scissors did she know that her mother had not gone mad and that she was not fooling with her. Christina was now close to losing her mind. That the hair was grass-green, was perhaps somehow still to understand – but that it was absolutely impossible to cut even a single hair, exceeded any imagination. Here were forces at work that could not be grasped with the human mind.

When Christina passed by the bus stop like a maniac, the stunned pensioners could only shake their heads silently. What was going on today? The bus was ready for a long time, the bus driver had long since lost patience, but no one could be seen. They stood there helpless and lost, Ernst, Hans-Walter, Heinrich and Adolf. There had never been anything like it. The senior ride was booked out for weeks, the departure time was long exceeded, but far and wide no one was to be seen.

Suddenly Heinrich had a thought flash: “Have you noticed that we are the only four widowers in the group?”

“Oh yes, that’s right.”

“You are right, Heiner, Hans, Herbert and Karl are married and there is no trace of our large band of funny widows.”

“That can only be because of the women, that’s no coincidence, they’ve made something out of it.”

“Well, then we’re going to look after the schoolgirl for so long, they are much more delicious than our elderly ladies anyway.”

“You old lust old man!”


At that time, the brightest excitement had been going on in St. Mary’s Hospital for hours. Early in the morning, Sister Elisabeth had made a shocking discovery. When she entered the room, she did not trust her eyes. Frau Lauer and Frau Recktenwald lay peacefully asleep – but with green hair. Yes, with grassy green hair! Sister Elisabeth quickly crossed herself, “Oh, Great God, help me!” Then she looked again closely: Miss Werner and Frau Holzer lay there as always; Miss Werner with her long silky blond hair and Frau Holzer with her flowing chestnut-red curls. But just Frau Lauer and Mrs. Recktenwald, these two lovely old ladies, had grass-green hair. No doubt, it was a rich juicy green. “Oh, Jesus help me, Father our, you’re in heaven … “Quick, but as quiet as she could, Sister Elisabeth inspected the other rooms, with the exception of Room 418, which was always the same: all the older ladies had grassy green hair, only Granny Jennewein’s hair hung down over the edge  in dignified gray. “Oh Lord, help me! Oh, Jesus, help! ”

Sister Elisabeth was an experienced and prudent sister. When she got over the first shock, she knew what to do. First, she called Pastor Gotthold, then let clinic director Professor Eckstein contact her. Both would hurry as fast as possible. Details could not be discussed over the phone. ‘Keep Calm. Just no excitement. Do not panic. Our Father, you are in heaven … ‘After a short consultation with the technical management, she called in turn all the ward sisters. The awakening would have to be postponed by one hour today. In a few minutes, the circuits III and IV would be interrupted, so no light on the stations. Circuits I and II, which fed the medically necessary equipment, but would continue to work. Whatever happens, keep calm, do not worry, do not panic, wait for further instructions.

Only a few minutes later Pastor Gotthold and Professor Eckstein hurried in. They had already collided in the elevator, both very excited, but no one knew what had happened. Sister Elisabeth described the situation calmly and objectively and she seemed to be well-informed. Nevertheless, this story was too fantastic. Only when they had convinced themselves, Pastor Gotthold and Professor Eckstein gradually became aware of the problem. Pastor Gotthold was entrusted with the spiritual support for the sisterhood and the patients, Sister Elisabeth was to coordinate the emergency measures at the various stations, Professor Eckstein took over the central management.

First, the professor had to get an overall picture. In turn, he was informed about the situation on the stations. It was like being bewitched. Grassy green hair, almost everywhere. But at the men’s station everything was quiet as always. No special occurrences. As sister Angelika reported “On the maternity ward, everything is in the green,” said Professor Eckstein initially jerked together. Fortunately, he asked again and was relieved to note that everything was fine at the maternity ward; just as one says: everything in the green zone. But for such language games Professor Eckstein had no meaning now. The location was serious. Bitter Ernst. Here, clear logical expertise was needed. Strange, very strange! Why was it only women and not men? And why was not a single woman affected at the maternity ward?

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In the midst of his thoughts sister Elisabeth burst with the next bad news. At the meeting of the nurses in the nurses’ room, she was suddenly electrified: Under the hood of Sister Maria, a grass-green hair tress peeked out. Extraordinary circumstances require extraordinary actions, so Sister Elisabeth had to ask all sisters to remove her hood. The excitement and indignation were great, but eventually all had to submit to the authority of Sister Elisabeth. “Oh, my God, our Father, who you are in heaven …” It was unbelievable! A polyphonic chorus of prayers was sent to Heaven, but that did not change the facts. Almost all the older sisters had green hair. Grass green hair. A juicy rich green dominated the round. Only the younger sisters had been spared and – curiously enough – also sister Walburga, Sister Edelgard and sister Luitgard. Sister Elisabeth did not believe her eyes: Sister Walburga, Sister Edelgard and Sister Luitgard had secretly grown their hair under the cover of the hood. That would have an aftermath! But at the moment, more important issues had to be solved. For Professor Eckstein things got more and more mysterious. He absolutely needed to sort out his thoughts in peace. That would have an aftermath! But at the moment, more important issues had to be solved. For Professor Eckstein things got more and more mysterious. He absolutely needed to sort out his thoughts in peace. That would have an aftermath! But at the moment, more important issues had to be solved. For Professor Eckstein things got more and more mysterious. He absolutely needed to sort out his thoughts in peace.

Elfriede Wohlfahrt and Christina had meanwhile taken action. But all attempts to wash out the grassy green color were unsuccessful. “Mom, lie down and please stay calm, I’ll go to the supermarket quickly and buy hair dye and bleach, stay calm and do not get upset, I’ll be right back.”

When Christina put the smorgasbord of shampoos, hair-driers, bleaches, and dyes on the tape, Agnes, the ever-friendly cashier, could no longer understand the world. ‘Strange – Frau Hartmann too! Why are people buying hair products this morning? Why do they need so much stuff? And just today, Ms. Kipper from the hair care department has reported sick. Something is not right, something is different today than usual. ‘ Agnes did not know how right she was. Before eleven o’clock, all shelves of hair-care products were emptied. Disturbed customers had to be put off and nobody knew what had happened that day. Or nobody wanted to say what he knew.

It was to despair. No matter which remedy Christina smeared on her mother’s head – the grass-green color could not be removed. Any effort was in vain. Elfriede Wohlfahrt was at the end of her powers. She only wanted one more. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Peace, tranquility, only peace. Cristina led her exhausted mother. Before Elfriede Wohlfahrt swallowed the last tablet, she mumbled in a faint voice “… Appointment … Salon Schiller … cancel …”

“Yes, Mom, stay calm, I’ll call right away, sleep well, Mom.”

“Yes, hello, this is the Schiller hairdressing salon, my name is Beatrice Schwarzkopf, what can I do for you?”

Only with difficulty Christina could arrange her thoughts and her sentences. But the pretty receptionist knew right away. “Yes, that’s a pity, there’s nothing you can do about it. Please address your best wishes to your mother.”

“Yes, thank you, goodbye.”

Beatrice wrapped a blond curl around her left index finger and smoothed her right hand gently over her arched belly. Thoughtfully, she whispered to the struggling libertine: “My little tormentor, this was already the fourth cancellation within half an hour, and our good old wife Wunn has today also reported sick.” When the phone rang again, Beatrice Schwarzkopf knew that everything was different than usual that day.

Christina had lovingly covered her mother and folded her hands over the blanket. Three extra-strong sleeping pills would put her mother in a deep sleep. Now she had to take care of Jessica. With tears in her eyes, she kissed the peaceful face, “Sleep well, Mama, do not worry, I’ll come back as soon as possible, do not worry, Mom, everything will be fine.”

Professor Eckstein enjoyed the hot coffee. For the first time today, he felt calm and content. He set the cup down, leaned back in the heavy leather armchair and let his eyes wander: St. Joseph’s Church, Christuskirche, Rathaus, Alter Turm – how peaceful everything looked! Professor Eckstein had come to a decision. His first impulse had been to shut down the hospital at Marien Hospital and keep everything secret. After all, nothing less was at stake than the reputation of the clinic. But after careful consideration and consideration of all arguments he had committed himself to the opposite strategy. The memory of the disaster with the SARS virus was still too fresh. Professor Eckstein had learned the lesson. Just no cover-up! Only relentless openness could protect against incalculable consequential damage. No puffing up, no panic, nothing exaggerating – instead openness, objectivity, competence, decisiveness, determined action.

First, Professor Eckstein contacted the Ministry of Health, then the State Criminal Police Office, the State Secretary for Internal Security, the Supreme Council of State Media Authorities, and finally the Prime Minister.

In an unprecedented perfection, the threads were pulled in secret. Within a few hours, the competent state and federal ministries, the state and federal criminal police offices, the secret services, civil protection, the Bundeswehr, NATO, the European Union, the World Health Organization and research institutes all over the world were informed. The emergency plans were put in place around the globe. The region was hermetically sealed within 50 kilometers. Cross-border cooperation between the Saarland, Rhineland-Palatinate, Baden-Württemberg, Lorraine, Alsace and Luxembourg went smoothly. The most competent scientists from the most diverse fields and from all parts of the world were on the way, The first experts had already arrived and worked feverishly to clear up the enigmatic phenomenon. Miraculously, all the media had held back the coverage until Wall Street closed the exchanges.

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When Elfriede Wohlfahrt opened her eyes in the early afternoon of the next day, she could not at first explain why her daughter Christina was sitting on the edge of her. She was still very dazed and it took a while for her to sort out the puzzle in her mind. Elfriede Wohlfahrt closed her eyes, put her hands flat on her face and pressed her fingertips firmly on her eyelids. Then she took several deep breaths and thought: ‘Elfriede Wohlfahrt, you are a strong woman. No matter what comes – you can do it. ‘ Then she straightened up and said, “Chris, my dear, go and cook us a strong coffee.”

She had the bra since yesterday and there was no fresh white cotton underpants ready. She sat down on the edge, put her feet in her slippers and stretched her upper body. Then she got up, ran both fingers under the rubber of her underpants, pulled him a little forward, turned the thumb in a swift movement outward and let the rubber enjoyable on their bacon rolls. Then she resolutely stepped in front of the large mirror and admired her lush, feminine curves. The terrible grass-green hair did not pay any attention to her.

Then she pulled on the dark blue apron and went to the toilet. Before she got up and pulled the rinse off, she muttered, “Elfriede, you’re going through this!”

When Elfriede Wohlfahrt entered the kitchen, she paused for a moment, closed her eyes and sucked the smell of freshly-brewed coffee into her nose. Then she sat down at the massive table. “My good Christina, let’s eat and drink in peace and quiet, that’s the most important thing, then you can tell me what happened.”

When Elfriede Wohlfahrt was completely fed, she belched softly, stretched her upper body, bent her back deeply, grabbed her firm br**sts with both hands, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. With a loud “Puuuhhh!” she let all her limbs fall relaxed, sat down comfortably, took another deep breath and said: “So, my child, and now tell me what has happened in the last twenty-four hours.”

What Christina had to report was not as bad as it was feared.

A few hours ago all over the media had been given the all clear. There were no signs of a terrorist attack. A terrorist background could be excluded with almost absolute certainty.

It did not appear to be an infectious disease. All cases had occurred exclusively in the municipality of D. And all in the night from Thursday to Friday. There was not a single case of new diseases.

There was also strong doubt as to whether it was a disease at all. So far no symptoms of illness could be determined. The only anomalies were the grassy green color of the hair and the physically inexplicable fact that the hair could not be cut, torn or otherwise removed in any way.

Although the situation was not quite as bad as it could have been, one fact could not be denied: No one in this world had a conclusive explanation for this mysterious phenomenon. Here were forces at work, which resisted the earthly laws of nature.

Despite all the unprecedented research efforts, the puzzle could not be solved. The global order threatened to get out of hand. The whole world was full of speculation and crazy hypotheses. Not only reputable scientists, politicians, law enforcement officials and intelligence agents were booming; This was also the great hour for religious fanatics, doomsday sects, UFO believers, feminists and charlatans of all stripes. A worldwide panic was probably only missed because the mystery was limited to the municipality of D. and no new cases of grass green hair were registered.

But Elfriede Wohlfahrt was a strong woman. She did not let herself get beaten down. She designed her daily routine as usual, except that she did not take a single step outside the door. She kept up to date with the newspaper, radio and television.

Even on the evening of the seventh day after the disaster, the special broadcasts offered no serious news. Only one more contribution, then finally the feature film would begin. ‘Well, let’s listen to what this puny little guy has to say in God’s name.’

“Doctor Hänselmann, you are an expert in the field of attractiveness research, evolutionary psychology, and the psychology of hair.” How do you explain this phenomenon? ”

“Well, as a scientist, I’m used to thinking soberly and rationally, and I have to admit that this phenomenon has some aspects that elude any logical explanation, but on the other hand, there are also some systematic relationships that …”

“What are these, Doctor?”

“On the one hand, this enigmatic phenomenon has something to do with gender, because it affects only women, and it has something to do with age, because all women are beyond menopause.”

“Yes but …”

“Yes, I already know what you want to say, Ms. Gollenstein, that’s the point, not all older women have grassy green hair, so it’s not just age, I’ve analyzed all the cases I’ve come to know, and that’s me Something very important to note: All women who have grassy green hair have short hair, most of them have this bleak, single-br**sted, great-grandmother look, but all the women who have been spared are wearing their hair long and open, with the hair color shining No matter whether blond, brown, gray … ”

“Yes, and what do you conclude from that, Herr Doktor Hänselmann?”

“Yes, I know, the thesis is daring and I can barely believe it myself, it seems that evolution is offended …”

“Huh? What do you mean, Doctor?”

“You see, long open hair is a symbol of feminine  and fertility in all cultures, and with their cropped hair and great-grandmother look, our women are robbing of their  appeal.”

“But does that make any biological sense?