It comes to an end soon … my life as an enlightened one … I feel that very clearly … my enlightenment seems to … to fade … to become weaker … so what should I still here ?!
But haaaalt … let’s start from the beginning … and not with the end:
hm … but how does one describe his ‘beginning’? … his own creation process? … the birth ? … the growth of his consciousness?
I only faintly remember … indistinctly that I was squeezed …
was virtually shaped …
and … was cleansed directly … and my nudity veiled … only a small section remained free, which gave my newfound senses a chance … a view of the world, in which I should be from now on …
My purpose was clear to me from the beginning … to be an enlightened person … what else ?!
At first, there was a time when I was completely out of my existence … I like to call it my ‘childhood’ … just because I was totally useless … nothing … … ‘did’. .. just … other similar kind of beings … obviously at the same stage as me – no matter if big or small, fat, thin, colorless, iridescent – to see and, above all, to hear …
but … the others also considered themselves enlightened … so that a rational conversation never came about …
Besides, no one knew exactly where our life would end up … where we would prove our abilities … all guesswork … …
Nevertheless … at some point it was time … I was torn out of the inactive childlike being together with my peers … unspeakably ungentle … as I would like to say … loveless … almost brutal …
My protective cover was torn down … even damaged … and for the first time I was …
… really enlightened !!!
It was glowing and buzzing around me … it was wonderful … awesome …
my destiny was fulfilled !!!
But !!!
Only for two or three seconds … then any life energy seemed withdrawn … I was snatched from my destiny … rudely my nakedness was covered again …
and … … I fainted …
The next thing I remember … almost like after a long dark … locked up …
was … the experience of absolute enlightenment !!!!
I beamed without end … the people at my feet (though I have to admit that in the beginning there were only four) were soooo happy about it
me …
_I_
_machte_
_you_
_happy_
made her see in the dark
enlightened her existence
This my state seemed to last forever … I was trapped in myself … got the fade … this … ecstasy … barely with …
and yet I shone with the same intensity the next day … from time to time brought enlightenment to people … sometimes there were many … sometimes just a single …
But what did I care … I gave my light anyway ONLY to those who were ready for it … the illumination WANTED … feel … see
And I looked at the people extensively … their actions … their activities … sometimes hectic … sometimes barely understandable in their actions … at least not for me … someone with _my_ determination …
The confused thoughts … philosophies about life … the meaning of it … the future … its destiny …
… with dismay it became clear to me at some point that most people did not know their destiny … and so they wandered aimlessly through life … and … as a result, of course, with the end … quarreled over death .. ,
… because … who silently takes the end of a purposeless … so unfulfilled life?
Your talks sooo confused on the one hand …. talkative … devoid of content … even hurtful sometimes … on the other hand at times sooo emotional … umgarnend … love-afflicted … in love … loving … …
Of course, it’s hardly understandable to me either … not … … in _my_ determination:
After all, I should not partake of my life _, but bring enlightenment to men !!!
… …
and I did !!! … after physical forces … and whenever someone was there and needed me … I beamed for him … … …
… …
and now ?!
as I said … I realize that it comes to an end …
realize that enlightenment … … wants to disappear
Damn it !!! … it would have been easier if I had not heard so much about the people around me …
Why the hell are (oh!) Such thoughts going through my pear, HOW I should say goodbye to this existence?
It is not very enlightened … !!!
but …
Maybe it is a successful finish, if I let jump to my end of life … when blowing through the fine wires in me even the backup of the house?
or should I burst with a loud bang?
… …
Oh … forgive an enlightened one … light bulb …. her confused thoughts … goodbye …
I was probably too long about people …