A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side […]
The preschool teacher says, “We’re going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence?” Mary raises her hand and exclaims, “Me me me!”The teacher says, “Go ahead, what’s the sentence? Mary replies, “The sky is definitely blue.”“That’s good, Mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky […]
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, “What in the world was that?” He replies, “Touchdown. I’m winning, seven nothing.” She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, “What was that?” She replies, “Touchdown, tie score.”He wants to get […]
An Indian man moves to America and doesn’t know a word of English so he brings he’s notepad. He was sitting in a park and some children run pass him yelling “I did it. I did it.” so he writes that in his notepad. Then he went for lunch and […]
A Chinese saw Steven Spielberg in hotel Ambassador, as he was a fan of Steven, he asked for his autograph. Instead, Steven gave a slap and said, “you bombed our Pearl Harbor.” Heart broken, the Chinese said, “it was the Japanese, not us.” Steven said, “Japanese, Chinese, Bhutanese, your all […]
One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework. The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob. Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in. He walked in to find the Jew getting it […]
There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs.The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts.The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like […]
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed “Jesus Christ!”And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked […]
Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make. First the teacher asks,”what sound does a cow make?” Susie raises her hand and says moo. “Good job susie” says the teacher. Then she asks what sound does a duck make? Billy raises his hand […]
There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves.He walks in the side door and asks the bartender […]
A man walks into a bar and says, “Excuse me, I’d like a pint of beer. ” The bartender serves the drink and says, “That’ll be four dollars. ” The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender. “Sorry, sir,” the bartender says, “but I can’t […]
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the […]
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, “Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; Hndjob: 20.00.” Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. “Yes?” she inquires […]
