A young priest, very anxious, and having been unable to pronounce a single word on the day of his first sermon, seek the advice of the Archbishop to be up next Sunday. The latter advises him to pour a few drops of vodka in a large glass of water to be more relaxed.
The next Sunday, the young priest felt so good that he could have spoken anywhere, anything.
Returning to the sacristy, he finds a letter left by the Archbishop, thus written: “My son, next time, put a few drops of vodka in a large glass of water, not a few drops of water in the vodka Then I give you some observations so that what I heard today
- There is no need to put a slice of lemon on the edge of the chalice.
- Avoid leaning on the statue of the Blessed Virgin and above all, avoid hugging and kissing her.
- There are 10 commandments and not 12.
- the apostles were 12 and not 7, and none were dwarf.
- we do not talk about Jesus Christ and his apostles as “JC & Co”
- we do not refer to Judas as “to this son of a bitch”
- you do not have to talk about the Pope saying “the Godfather”
8 Bin Laden has nothing to do with the death of Jesus
- holy water is made to bless and not to refresh the neck
- never celebrate Mass sitting on the steps of the altar
- the hosts are not cakes appetizers to consume with the wine of mass
- the sinners will go to hell and not “get fucked”
- the initiative to call the faithful to dance was good, but not that of to make the caterpillar in the whole church
- The man sitting near the altar to which you referred to as “the fagot” and “the tranny in skirt”, it was me.