On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such a long duration. “Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” […]
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest […]
A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne. A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” “Well,” she replied, “since you ask, […]
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t give you cyanide just like that.” Without a word, the man takes out his wife’s photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, “My mistake, […]
Little Johnny’s Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms,” said the professor putting the […]
A man was complaining to a friend, “I had it all – money, a beautiful house , a big car, the love of a beautiful woman. And then – poof – it was all gone.” “What happened?” asked the friend. “My wife found out.”
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.” The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – […]
A husband is at home watching a football game when his Wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.” He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on […]
A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing […]
These three were scrambling for cash to pay their bar bill. The bartender says, “Forget the bill – if the three of you can show me 21 inches, I’ll pick up the tab.” The three guys all looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and agreed. So, The first guy […]
Three men, an American, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge. The Puerto Rican asks, “Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle […]
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn’t have any quackers. The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn’t serve quackers. […]
Why is there a horse on the Teamster logo? It’s the only animal that sleeps standing up. What do Teamster’s kide do at the playground do? Sit on folding chairs and watch other kids play. What do you call a Teamster in a 3 piece suit? Defendant Two teamsters are […]
