A woman was very afraid about the size of her opening Both her and her partner took a mutual
vow of celibacy until they were married. Before their wedding, she tells her mother, “I’m so big
down there, John will divorce me when he finds out.” Her mother replies, “Don’t worry,
sweetheart. It runs in the family. Do what I did with your father. Go to the market, get some raw
liver, and put it in there. He’ll never know the difference.” She takes her mother’s advice and
they have 6 hours of passionate se* on their wedding night. She wakes up the next morning
and he’s not home, but a note from him on the night table reads: “Good morning, my sweet.
To think that we saved our lovemaking until after we were married. Our heavenly relationship
makes my heart beat so loudly, I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up! I’m working overtime today
to save up for us to have a lovely house on the beach. And we’ll have dogs and beautiful
children. When my work day is over, I’ll rush home so I can take you in a warm, lingering embrace.