There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night. So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home. The man […]
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, “What was that for?”She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it.” He says, […]
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the […]
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their […]
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn’t want to pay the high prices. After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I […]
Danny is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother’s house for a visit. There’s a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. So Danny and his friends start snacking on them. When they’re ready to leave, his friends say, “Nice to meet you, ma’am, And thank you for […]
My bf is going on a trip and I thought it’d be fun to give him a joke and tell the punchline when he gets home. Only thing is we were on a time crunch and I just said the first thing that came to mind which was: What do […]
Three guys are sharing a bed at a sleepover When they wake up, the first guy says, “I had a wierd dream, I dreamt that someone beat my meat.” The guy on the left says, “Me too!” The guy in the middle goes: “That’s funny, I dreamt that I was […]
A Dad who was CIA and a mom who was CPS wanted a child who wouldn’t follow them into governments service. They couldn’t have children so then decided to adopt…. They used their jobs to easily find their perfect child…. One research report led to countless children who were not […]
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months. The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, you’re brother named them for you. Woman: No No […]
blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out […]
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, “Cruise Special — $99!”. She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, “I’d like the $99 cruise special, please.” The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a […]
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the […]
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