Guy dies and finds himself standing in front of Satan. He says, “Oh no, am I…” Satan says, “Yes, you are. But it’s not as bad as you think. Let me give you the tour.” Guy looks around and sees that they are in a grassy field with rolling hills, […]
An elderly couple decide they want to have a baby So they go to the doctor. Doctor, they say, we’ve decided that we want to have another baby. The doctor looks at them at a loss for words. “You do realize that at your age, it’s pretty much impossible. The […]
Two Irish pilots were attempting to land their jet. but the runway was the shortest they had ever landed on! Paddy, the chief pilot, slammed on the brakes the minute they hit the runway. The plane skidded, the brakes squealed, and the two pilots fought desperately with the controls until […]
A man goes on Holiday in Madrid After exploring the Spanish country he decides to get a tattoo, and gets a bull on his arm. A few days later, he is on a tour with a guide, when the guide says “hey, that looks swollen,” The man replies “really?! Do […]
4 catholic women walked into a bar. The first said, ‘my son is a loved priest. Any time people see him on the street, people cry, “oh my priest, oh my priest! “‘ The second said, “forget it. My son is a bishop. When people see him on the street, […]
Fred and Klaus met, as usual, on Tuesday evening to talk about their misdeeds from the past weekend. Fred boasted, “I was at a party over the weekend, and it was insane, the hosts even had a golden toilet!” Klaus replied, “You must be crazy; a golden toilet?!” After some […]
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he’d be home-free. So […]
An elderly homophobic father wants to understand his son better. So, the father decides in order to understand his gay son better, to immerse himself by going to the local gay sauna. He takes off his cloths, and his glasses so they don’t get steamed up and grabs a towel. […]
A married couple is fighting when the wife says, I don’t want you in this house anymore, pack your shit and get out. Husband starts packing as the wife is still nagging him. The husband opens the door to leave and just as he is walking out the wife says, […]
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From the inside they heard a Pakistani accent say, “Welcome foreigners come in. Come into my humble shop.” so the married couple walked […]
A guy gets employed by a company, the company’s eorking time is 9-5 but because the guy has no balls they tell him to come at 11 because they just play with their balls till 11. 2 hours after the interview he gets a call sayingthat he needs to attend […]
A lady goes to a pet shop. The shop owner shows her a lot of cute animals but what fascinates the lady the most is a parrot which the shop owner claims can talk. So she approaches it and asks: “how do I look?” The parrot quickly responds: “just like […]
Two car salesmen are talking. One of them says: “Damn, this financial crisis really left me on the ropes. I’m telling you: if within the week, I won’t manage to sell at least one car, I’ll be forced to sell my ass!” Suddenly, the two notice that a young girl […]
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