Once upon a time there was a man

Once upon a time there was a man who loved eating boiled beans. He loved her, but unfortunately they always had such an unpleasant and somehow “living” effect on him. 

One day he met a girl and fell in love with her. 
When they later wanted to marry, he thought, “She will never marry me if I do not stop.” 

So he drew a line and gave up the love for the beans. 
Shortly after the wedding, on the way home, his car suddenly broke down and because they lived far out in the country, he called his wife and said that he would come later, because he would have to walk. 

When he ran like that, he came to a cafe, from which the irresistible smell of hot beans poured.
Because he still had to walk a few meters, he thought that the effect of the beans should have gone home. 

So he went to the cafe and ordered three extra large portions of beans. 
On the way home he farted uninterruptedly. 

When he finally arrived home, he felt pretty safe. 
His wife was waiting for him and seemed quite excited. 
“Darling, I have prepared the best supper for you for dinner!” and tied a cloth to his eyes. Then she led him to his chair and he had to promise not to spit. 
Suddenly he felt how slowly and inexorably a gigantic fart formed in his gut.
Fortunately, at that very moment the phone rang and his wife asked him to wait a moment. When she left, he took the opportunity. He shifted his weight to his left leg and let it crack. It was not only loud, but also smelled like rotten eggs. He could barely breathe. 
He felt his napkin and fanned it with air. 

He had barely recovered when a second catastrophe set in. Again he raised his leg and fffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttt! 
It sounded like a starting diesel engine and smelled even worse. He did not want to suffocate, he waved his arms wildly, hoping the stink would go away.

When everything had calmed down a bit, a sense of mischief was already coming up again. This time he lifted his other leg and let off the hot, damp steam. 
This fart deserves a medal! The windows shook, the dishes clattered on the table, and a minute later all the flowers were dead. 

This went on for the next 10 minutes, and over and over again he listened to his wife talking over the phone. 
When he heard the phone being hung up (which also meant the end of his loneliness and freedom), he neatly put the napkin on the table and put his hands on it. 
Smiling so contentedly was a symbol of innocence when his wife came back.

She apologized that it had taken so long and wanted to know if he had not spiked. 
After reassuring her that he had not peppered, she removed the blindfold and shouted, “Surprise !!” 
To his horror, he found that there were twelve guests sitting at the table, staring at him in astonishment. 

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