I do not go to the nursing home (funny story)

I DECIDED:

“I no longer accept applications for a retirement home!” !!!

Instead, I grant reservations for a cruise.

My health minister Ulla Schmidt has given me the reasons for this:
“The average cost for a retirement home is 200 EUR per day.”

I have checked a reservation for the cruise ship “Aida” and must pay for a long-term trip as a retiree or retiree 135 EUR per day (no joke !!!).
After Adam Ries remain me then still 65 EUR per day left […… !!!]

I have at least 10 free meals, if I shake in one of the on-board restaurants, or I bring the food from the room service to the room, so in the cabin, bring.
In other words, I can take my breakfast in bed every day of the week.

The “Aida” has three swimming pools, a gym, free use of washer and dryer and even nightly shows.

There are free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo on the ship.

The staff treat me like a client, not a patient.
For € 15.00 extra per day, the stewards read every wish from my eyes.

Every 8 to 14 days I meet new people.

TV broken? Broken bulb? The bed mattress is too hard or too soft? No problem! The staff changed it for free and thanks for my understanding.

Fresh linen and towels every day are a matter of course and I do not even have to ask for it.

If I fall in the old people’s home and break a rib, then I come to the hospital and must pay according to the new health insurance reform daily thick.
On the “Aida” I get a suite for the rest of the trip and will be treated by the on-board doctor for free.

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I have not heard of any case in which paying passengers of a cruise ship were harassed or even mistreated by the staff.
This does not apply to nursing homes to the same extent !!!

Now the best: With the “Aida” I can go to South America, Africa, Australia, Japan, Asia … wherever I want. That’s why I’m not looking for a nursing home in the future, but “just call shore to ship”.
On the “Aida” I save 50 EUR every day and do not even have to save for my funeral. My last wish is then: just throw me over the railing. That’s free!

PS:
If you want to be part of the party, we’ll just fill the whole boat.