I must anticipate that I am a Coop and Migros child and appreciate these two loyal companions but sometimes strange things happen. (Note: Coop and Migros are department stores in Switzerland)
So I stood at a Coop checkout in the queue and was pleased that I had only two customers in front of me. So the chance was great that I could enjoy the fine “strawberry ice cream” in my hand still cooled down.
When the friendly, already a little older man in front of me finally finished packing, the amiable lady at the cash desk asked him, “Do you have a loyalty card”? Then the gentleman begins to search in his purse, put one or the other cards, as well as other notes on the filing and searches desperately on. After ten minutes felt then the great success. We all had indescribable feelings of relief as he handed the blue card proudly to the lady at the cash register.
Of course, the older man wants to pay for his purchase with a credit card. Well worth it even at Fr. 27.50.
It goes without saying that the first time he enters the code incorrectly. The second attempt ended without success. Easily embarrassed, he said “I do not remember my code anymore”. Yes, admitted, “suckling”.
He would have written the code for the emergency. Thus, he searched again in his purse for a note and in trial three it worked well then.
For the first time, I changed my ice from one hand to the other to avoid damage from frostbite. So far so good. The Lord would now be through in principle but now the magic of the experience shopping starts to run properly.
“Do you collect emojis?”
“What, how, what should I collect?” I guessed bad. The young lady at the cash register told the older gentleman with much patience what it was about these superfluous “figures”. Sure, the nice older man had of course a sister, of which in turn the man, has a dear colleague, which in turn has a daughter and their daughters are still small and they would just collect everything.
The lady behind me slowly begins to feed her food to prevent possible hypoglycaemia. I’m just insane because I did not buy something more nutritious, like half a chicken. Then I would also have had something to eat, which would have been very useful in view of the situation.
It should have gone on now. Far from it, “do you earn points?” “What, how, what points?” “Yes, those points from Jamie Oliver ????????” The friendly gentleman had neither a plan what that points should be , nor did he have any idea who this Jamie Oliver might be.
The friendly lady pulled out a leaflet, explained patiently and lavishly, who this Jamie Oliver is and what could be done with these points.
In the meantime, construction workers have come up behind us with an excavator to break a hole in the wall at the back of the store, so that the end of the colon also has great space. The lady behind me just hands me a tissue so I can mop up the mess on the floor caused by my dripping ice.
The older gentleman, of course, collects points immediately and the lady behind the cash register, counts the points in a serenity, one, two, three, etc. Then handed over a booklet to glue in and it could go on.
Slowly the dusk breaks over the city.
Coop employees distribute food packages, flashlights and tents for the night. A lady asks me if I would still need the piece of wood in my hand, which was the rest of my “strawberry trip”. Otherwise, they could use the valuable piece of wood to kindle a fire. Now a scout-friendly fire has been lit to protect our bivouac at night from dangerous animals and any emojis. Suddenly it got loud in the shop. The group of customers, which was previously in the field of spirits in the colon, had meanwhile drunk a lot and launched a cheerful Polonaise through the store.
When nobody expected that, it went one step further. The older gentleman managed to leave the shop last. The crowd behind me made a Laola wave and danced Lambada, it was celebrated, the Nachos department was sacked, avocados from the vegetable department were processed into guacamole, strangers were in the arms, it was just party time.
I took an energy drink off the shelf, so I had something to buy at the box office afterwards, and I was happy like a little kid. The lady before me finally had only two products.
Now ladies and gentleman “give me five”, I took the victory pose of Usain Bolt, clap with strangers in the colon, put my energy drink on the conveyor belt and ………….
And then what we all feared so much happened ………..
“Do you have a loyalty card?”
So I took from the now arrived gentlemen of the Care Team a sleeping bag, put me between the shelves and began to count emojis, which soon rocked me gently to sleep.
And the moral of the story
Buy with foresight, brains and intellect,
because caution, emojis and points are moving through the land