Chuck Norris is a legendary Karate fighter, and action actor. He is also a subject of 1000s of jokes.
- On the side of Hillary Clinton was the current US government, wealthy corporations and most American media. On the side of Donald Trump was Chuck Norris. Moral: Choose your allies more carefully!
- Chuck Norris caught all the Pokemon using his home phone.
- Chuck Norris was not accepted to football (soccer) team, because he hit on goal without using the ball.
- Chuck Norris played the guitar yesterday. And won 🙂
- Chuck Norris can kill two hunters with one bunny.
- Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone.
- Chuck Norris knows nothing about aerodynamics. The fact is that the air never dared to resist Chuck.
- Tears of Chuck Norris treat cancer. But he is so cool that he never cries. Ever!
- Chuck Norris once hit a horse in the face. The descendants of this horse are now called giraffes.
- Once, Chuck Norris ate a birthday cake before friends had time to tell him that a stripper was sitting inside.
Here is a collection of some other good ones:
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
- Chuck Norris breathes air 9 times a day.
- When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
- Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
- The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once …ONCE.
- If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, ‘Bang!’
- Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
- Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
- Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
- Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
- Chuck Norris once had a heart attack – his heart lost.
- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
- The Universe is not expanding. It is running away from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the table of elements because the only element he knows is the element of SURPRISE.
- Chuck Norris can ride a bike with no wheels. But he prefers to fly.