An elderly woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?”No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot. Finally, one […]
A 97-year-old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.He says “Doc, I think I’m impotent.” The doctor sits him down and begins the standard speech he gives to senior citizens about how as the body ages, bodily functions slow down, and it is completely normal to suffer some decrease in […]
The first student’s turn comes, and she goes inside Examiner- Suppose you are traveling by train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do? Student- I will open the window. External- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is 10 sq.ft, the volume of the car is […]
Her son walks in from school, with her husband close behind. Thinking fast, she shoves her lover and the boy into the closet, then begins casually talking to the husband. ” It sure is dark in here… It’d be a shame if I were to… Scream.” Whispers the boy slyly. […]
The Descartes’ were hosting one of their fancy late night parties. (Blaise) Pascal and (Pierre) Fermat were there; Blaise playing the jester and making bets with passers-by about the craziest things you could imagine, and Pierre taunting the English as usual. The Descartes were renowned for these parties which usually […]
A man wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun bursts through the door of a Bank.“Go to the back and give me everything you’ve got ” the man said. The woman replies, “Sir, this is a mistake, this is a sperm bank.” “I don’t give a shit, you go […]
A true friend is like a penis, he stands up for you in times of need. A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times. A faithful friend is like a condom, he protects you from all harm. A loving friend is like a vagina, she […]
Doctor, “What seems to be the problem?” Patient, “Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,” The Doctor nods, “Hmm.” Patient, “My farts do not stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I fart all the time. Look, we’ve been talking here for about […]
A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing […]
These three were scrambling for cash to pay their bar bill. The bartender says, “Forget the bill – if the three of you can show me 21 inches, I’ll pick up the tab.” The three guys all looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and agreed. So, The first guy […]
Three men, an American, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge. The Puerto Rican asks, “Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle […]
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn’t have any quackers. The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn’t serve quackers. […]
There was this boy Little Johnny in high school that was what you would consider a nerd: Anyway, he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said. “Dad look what I made.” So he poured a flask of fluid into […]
